Strength togetHER 3- Session 3

Strength TogetHER, facilitated by ”Lokopakar” is a virtual platform that helps youth to voice their suggestions, ideas, stories, and their thoughts on different notions. It has been focusing on girls to excel and help them in divergent ways. It has been an incredible journey from cohort 1 to cohort 3. Gratefully, we conducted our third session of Strength togetHER cohort 3.

Our moderators who played a huge role in our session are Ms.Amina Shrestha and Ms.Rozina Dahal. Ms.Rozina Dahal has graduated with development studies from Kathmandu University and has always provided girls guidance and shared her side of stories as well in order to make us feel comfortable. Ms.Amina Shrestha is a proud single mother and teacher. She has completed her MBA from Kathmandu University. She is currently educating at Uniglobe college. 

Our topic for this very session was “Gender Stereotyping”. I was remarkably moved the first time I heard Amina’s ma’am stories and I knew I somehow had to introduce her to the session in the near future. Appreciatively, she agreed and was up for it. I again with another session was very eager and was very enthusiastic. Our session this time went unlike from our previous two sessions. The session turned out to be a storytelling session where Ms. Amina ma’am expounded her experience with the girls and shared 3 chapters of her life.

 

Chapter 1 

As being brought up in an educated Newari family she was not raised like girls of that time. Amina ma’am had a very supportive family, a family that did not believe in any kind of gender stereotyping which was hard to imagine in a Nepali society back then. She was nurtured in a mediocre family with a moral environment where equality existed.  No one in her family was ever introduced to gender discrimination. She got equal opportunities as her two elder brothers. She realized that she was privileged than ever until she encountered an incident in her relative's house when she got her periods. All those welcoming people started treating differently as if she has committed some crime. Before that, she did not realize that gender discrimination existed. Time passed and just like other members in her family, she was always encouraged to get higher education. She completed her post-graduation from one of the prestigious universities of Nepal, Kathmandu University, and got a job as an operational manager in NIUG, an individual project funded by ICIMOD.

Chapter 2 

Just when she turned 27 she got hitched. She was sent to another house just like any other ordinary woman in our society. On the contemporary, she was working in ICIMOD but soon had to leave as her maternal date was coming close. She was confronting a whole another world. She was no longer served with respect and kindness like she used to get. She never had to undergo the same situation in her mother’s house. She came across varieties of emotions and was completely drowning in the sea.  As she experienced her new environment,  she discovered her marriage wasn’t as blissful as she expected to be and her husband didn't give consent to the marriage. Her husband agreed on a relationship just for social well-being. Her only pillar of strength for her relationship was her mother-in-law who advised her merrily in the relationship. After ten years of relationship, she had two children. Suddenly, her mother-in-law passed away and she struck upon continuous bullies and mental harassment from her husband's family. After she received plenty of hatred, one day she was forcefully sent to her home. 

Chapter 3 

She tried to find jobs so she could stand on her own feet for her two sons, she realized that because of her lack of experience and her age the only job she could discover is being a teacher. She explained how she availed herself of being a teacher while she had to frequently visit court. She is still fighting a legal case against her husband for the property(ansha) and manachama (alimony) case in the Supreme court. She found a very generous lawyer who helped her in her legal matter. While, in her journey, she has received excessive support from her family and she has always hinged upon them for any problem. She, as a single mother has completed both roles as a father and a mother alone. Now she and her two sons are very much untroubled and have a very jolly life. 

In her journey of this legal war, the most supporting external factor and most satisfactory factor was the government. The unknown fact about our government is the rights given to women in Nepal are really powerful and supportive. In her age, there were laws where men couldn’t even apply for a divorce without his wife’s consent. Most of the laws were and are in favor of women. Unfortunately, our country’s rules and laws are just limited to the law book. When it comes to practical implementation there are many hindrances, due to lengthy processes and corrupted systems. As she herself and her family were literate and supportive and had a faithful lawyer, her journey became a lot easier for her than the rest. But on the contrary, women of our society who have similar stories are facing obstacles because of a lack of education and an unsupportive family. Our societies have many unheard stories that were never heard and spoken about so we want the youngster of our age to implement education in the right way and never be scared to raise one’s voice. 

This session was different from our other sessions. This session gave us the willpower that we women are sturdy and we can also leap forward. We can empower each other and always stand strong. The session went very fruitful and knowledgeable. 

Written by-  Christy Gurung and Nishi Baidhya

Edited by- Aastha Shrestha (LOKOPAKAR)